Charmaine Brown

brave is holding onto the only thing that's stable

Charmaine Brown
brave is holding onto the only thing that's stable

Spring reminds me why I love the seasons so much
Gulping fresh air whilst sun caresses thirsty skin
Shedding winter coats, no need to bundle when the buds peek out from eager trees
Snow be gone for green is the new white
Even the rain has its place for it's what the blossoms need
And did I mention we're ready for new and hope and that's what a tulip really means

Soon we’ll be into summer
Dog days and heat waves
The whole world shows its face because the grass and the days are long
Secrets and songs around bonfire nights
Fireflies in jars at twilight because that's just what you do.

There’s something bittersweet about fall
We're ready for change but alas, how quick it came
Red orange yellow, leaves shimmer then crisp
The trees shedding, metamorphosing into solemn twigs.

Barren and white
Like the night waiting for sun to rise we hibernate
Breath held we sit tight and stand by, we are the ones waiting, waiting.

No spell, narnian-or-otherwise
Winter can't last forever though it will try.

And this circling goes on and on and on like a merry-go-round.

And we can't get off because that would be too permanent and what would they think
So we turn, turn, turn with the seasons and it's not always merry, sometimes it's just plain terrifying.

Some of us feel those gripping fingers of darkness more than others
Depression is a dirty word and no one admits it and if I took a pill or many would that be so wrong
It's messy like my kitchen and just give me a little heads-up before you show up to be let in.

You know as a kid when you're on your way home and it's late at night
You're sleeping in the car but you wake up in the driveway
Shhhhhhhhhh I'm still asleep
But really I'm not I just want to be carried inside.

Oh what an uphill truth that sometimes the hard brings us closer to God
Because he holds us and he doesn't let go
And I've never known the sun not to rise but how, how is my faith still so fragile
When the night is long and there are no answers and I'm done, just done with trying
I'll pretend to be asleep in the driveway and God will you please just carry me even though I'm heavy.

It is well with my soul
I'm just testing those words out to see if I really mean it when I say it but yes, yes I do
Not because I feel it but because I know it and knowing is better than feeling
For feelings are fickle but you are not
And when all I need is stable
On this (merry)go-round you're the only place I find it.

I love the colour purple, and polka dots, and fuzzy socks, and making music that is real and gritty and honest. You can find out more about what I'm to at