Charmaine Brown

brave is slaying demons with swords

Charmaine Brown
brave is slaying demons with swords

When I was a kid
Bed-time came quick
Always it was now, now
But no, no it can't be time
To turn off the light
For the snakes crawl at night
That's what they say and that's what I say
And there are no demons in the day
At least none that show their face
And I am guilty and shamed
Too old to be afraid but I am.

I sneak from the covers to turn the light on
And mom comes in and I don't know how that happened
Off and on and off again and oh it must have gone on by itself
The game continues because that dark is just too dark
I hate the night and why is it even a thing.

I rehearse the blackness like a play
Over and over the actors in vivid colours
They are uninvited and who, who told them to come here
Not me but they move right in and take up space.

What I know now that I’m older and maybe wiser
Is that Sunday school is not for Sundays
Because I don't need Sunday school sitting in friend-circles on little rugs
I need it in the black on Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday.

You taught me many things
You taught me to say Jesus' name
And that fear has no place
And if you've ever been a Sunday school teacher
There's no amount of thanks
You are every day heroes because you give us stories
And you give us words
And you give us weapons
And if that's all the good you do in your life you've done real good.

Because I'm lying in my bed pushing thirty
And I still have nightmares
But it started with you
You gave me something to cling to
So thank you.

I love the colour purple, and polka dots, and fuzzy socks, and making music that is real and gritty and honest. You can find out more about what I'm to at